An Hour With… Redshirt

Redshirt is a dating simulator, no I’m not making that up. I bought it a very long time ago, sometime in 2013 or something ridiculously long ago I believe. But it’s only now that I’m making an article on it. Why? Because I wasn’t writing game articles in 2013 you arse. On with the article.

So as far as I can tell Redshirt is a game that wants me to think being in space and wearing a red shirt will get me facebook friends. It’s basically a management type game wherein you manage your relationship with all of your friends and co-workers, then arrange to meet them and so on. You can post statuses and stuff like that. Basically it’s The Sims 3 but without the houses and a hell of a lot more like Facebook. I played the game for a couple of hours because I was enjoying it.

I haven’t touched it since. Why? Because I’m simulating a fake life on a fake Facebook making imaginary friends, it’s like primary school all over again. Since when did games have to provide only the bare minimum of gameplay? You don’t get to play any minigames to meet up with your friends or anything like that. Nothing of the sort, you get a little text screen saying how little/lots they enjoyed their day and the relationship change.

To be fair the character you create will instantly be more successful socially wise than you are. But to be fair take a look at yourself, of course you’re playing this game. It’s why I’m playing this game and I’ll hazard a guess and say it’s why pretty much everyone is playing this game if they have done. I’m not bitter, I have a social life, it’s why the past week of posts has been so late, apologies for that I’ll explain on Saturday, but this game just made my booming social life look like shit.

Not shit in the bad way though, Redshirt does it’s job very well, which is to provide a few hours of entertainment on the way to the grave. It looks very nice, the menus are easy to understand and nothing is over-complicated to the point that you want to stop playing.

But to be fair how the hell can a game like this be over-complicated? You’d have to have the brain of a fucking potato to find this game complex, it’s like thinking Connect-4 has too many rules.

Redshirt is definitely fun, it’ll give you a questionable number of hours of fun but after that there isn’t really much point in going back to it. It hasn’t got much replay value and that’s a shame because it’s supposed to give you as much replay value as possible. It’s a game built a lot like the social minigames of The Sims, but doesn’t do a very good job of building on it or making a second playthrough worth it.

Still, get it if you can get it cheap. You’ll probably regret it because you just bought a game with a Star Trek reference as the title, but if you do manage to play it maybe you’ll put that revolver down for a couple more hours.

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