Achievement Unlocked – The Park

I’m literally the worst when it comes to horror games, which is why it was an utter pleasure to play this game. I got it because it’s one of the easiest 1000G’s and also because it was on sale. So buckle down, turn on the lights, mute the sound and we’ll crack on with it.

Don’t bother paying attention to the story or anything, there’s no point, just follow my instructions and I’ll guide you through it as quickly as possible.

Starting the game you’ll be stood outside of the park in a car park. Turn right to see the car park exit and a gate, walk past the toll booth and head up the road towards the mist. Keep walking until the first achievement pops.

At this point your game might freeze or crash, it did for me, so from the pause menu just hit new game. Now just head to the park information booth. It’s to the right of the turnstiles. Reaching the information booth will trigger a cutscene, which will open the park up for you. Head through the turnstile and the next achievement will unlock.

Once you reach the top of the escalator head straight ahead. Once you reach the last building turn left, then turn left down the path. Go past the house with the screaming face entrance, that’s the House of Horrors. Continue past it and head all the way down to the path to the Swan Ride. Wait for the swan to come round and press A to get into it.

While on the ride, turn your camera to the left, as much as possible. Don’t move it up or down, only left. Then put the controller down. It takes six or seven minutes to complete the ride so go and do something else, make a cup of tea. Once you finish the ride, you’ll get two achievements:

Once you exit the ride take a left and continue walking until you find the octopus ride. Head along the bridge towards it and keep going right until you arrive at the first arch. At the very nearest bench there’ll be a photo. Press A to interact with it for another achievement.

Head through the arch where the photo was and continue forwards and head through a second arch, hug the left path and head to the bumper cars. Enter the gate by the broken fence and find a broken bumper car on the right. It’ll have a battery thing on it, doesn’t look very safe, doesn’t matter, press A, touch it, 75G.

From there go up onto the bumper car platform and head all the way along to where there is a light flickering. There’s gonna be a bumper car with a book on it. Press A on the book, a cutscene will play out opening the next area, and unlocking the next achievement.

Head up the newly opened stairs and follow the path until you reach the ferris wheel. Go up onto the platform and into the control booth, pull the lever on the right three times to lower the speed. Head over to the ferris wheel and interact with the squirrel cut out to ride the ferris wheel. Once the ride finishes, head down the path to the right and you should be able to see a ferris wheel cart. Inside there is a rollercoaster ticket, pick it up and the achievement will unlock.

This will open up the path for you to continue down, follow the path and go to the left to reach the rollercoaster. Head onto the rollercoaster platform, interact with the cart and unlock the next achievement.

After exiting the ride, pick up the flashlight on the table next to the hut, you’ll see it as you head down the ramp exit.

Exit through the turnstile on your left and then head left again and up the hill. Once you pass through the arch with the flashing lights, straight in front of you will be a newspaper resting on one of the stalls, press A to interact with it for your next achievement.

Turn left and walk until there’s a break between the stalls. There’ll be a cotton candy down the side, go in and examine the dead body. When you get back up, turn around. Now listen very carefully, there’ll be a jumpscare. It’s that fucking chipmunk dick. Just be careful, prepare yourself mentally. Once that’s out of the way, go across the path to a centre area where some pills will be resting on top of a counter type thing. Press A to interact with them. You’ll wake up in a room with graffiti everywhere.

To exit the room, head out the door that has a blue divider just outside of it, walk straight through it. Turn left out of the door and you’ll find yourself back where you took the pills. Follow the path around. Exit through the arch and you’ll be stopped by a cutscene, which will unlock the next achievement.

Head forward down the path until you reach the giant screaming mouth, just walk straight in. A loading screen will appear, walk a few paces once you’re inside and there’s a nice 100G.

Inside the house there’s loads to see. I suggest just ploughing on through though, don’t pay attention to anything, make your way along the linear path and eventually the rooms start looping. Don’t worry, after four loops you’ll get a cutscene, the game will end and the final achievement will unlock.

No don’t ask me about the ending I didn’t understand it either, uninstall the game I’ve got nothing more to say.

Go away.

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