Ewan talks about the EU Referendum, Brexit and all things politics

From that image alone you can probably tell which side I’m more geared towards. Yes of course I wanted to Remain, but I couldn’t vote considering I’m under the age of eighteen. So the best I can do is analyse what’s happened in the past day, and let me tell you, everything has unravelled exponentially and the majority of writers (myself included) are having a field day with the amount of content it’ll allow us to produce.

Now I don’t really know where to begin, you wont be able to see it when the article is published but I have a list of things to talk about, so I say we just go in timeline order as to what happened. But first I want to make sure everyone understands what the EU is, just to make sure we’re all on the same page.

What is the EU and why was it created?

The European Union was initially created after the Second World War to keep peace between Germany and France. Now I should just state that this is not what the European Union is for or in fact when it was eventually started, it was started as this treaty however. The EU was formed officially in 1993 after a number of name changes, treaties and so on, with these changes dating back to the very early fifties. The most recent addition to the EU is Croatia, and the most recent loss of the EU is us, the United Kingdom. (Although we wont be the United Kingdom for much longer the way things are going, however I’m getting ahead of myself and will talk about this later.)

The aim of the European Union is to promote peace, provide economic stability for all members and provide security for all its members. Those aren’t the only aims, but they’re the most prominent of them all and The Lisbon Treaty added a lot more aims to the EU, but I won’t go into them because I don’t really give a shit, and nor do you.

On top of that, being apart of the European Union gave us a number of rights that we will lose in 2019 when we officially leave. Some of the more important rights we will lose are:

  1. The freedom to move between countries in the EU.
  2. The freedom to live in countries apart of the EU.
  3. If you are in another country that is apart of the EU and does not have a UK embassy, you can go to any other EU members embassy for help.
  4. The right to appeal to the European Ombudsman if you think the EU is acting unfairly.

So now that we’re on the way out of the EU, we can’t travel as easily to other countries, live there as easily and if you find yourself in trouble abroad then the EU embassies will turn you away and leave you helpless. Although the Russian embassy does that anyway.

For and Against

You were either Leave or Remain. Or you didn’t give one. Now I’m just going to give a few examples of who was for Remaining and who was for Leaving. I’m not going to talk about anything other than that, I just want to give you an idea of which political and celebrity figures were on which side.


Nigel Farage – A miniature version of Donald Trump, was the UKIP leader
Boris Johnson – Ex-mayor of London, owns a pigeon for hair, currently the most liable option for Prime Minister
Donald Trump – Twat, future President of America, his hair is probably a sentient being
Michael Gove – Ex-Education Minister, absolute dick head, ruined the education system even more than it already was
John Cleese – Basil Fawlty and 1/6th of Monty Python
Michael Caine – Alfred from The Dark Knight films (who I do a very good impression of)
Katie Hopkins – That bitch that says those awful things all the time
Duncan Banotyne – Dragons Den man and voiced Moneybags from that one Spyro game
Joan Collins – She was on Benidorm once I think


David Mitchell – Peep Show, Mitchell and Webb, Ambassadors, spoke to him on Twitter once so we’re cool
Robert Webb – Ditto
Benodryl Cucumbersnaps – Sherlock, actor person, read a poem at Richard III’s funeral
Bill Nighy – Actor, not the science guy
David Beckham – Ex-footballer, owns five words in his vocabulary
David Cameron – Ex-Prime Minister, professional pig enthusiast
Eddie Izzard – The one that ran them marathons in that country
Jeremy Clarkson – Professional racist
James May – Professional racists friend


Basil Brush – Puppet

Results Day

Now that I’ve hopefully explained what the European Union is, it’s now time to talk about the actual results. I’m not going to explain why people sided with what just yet. But the vote stated that we were to leave the EU.

There we go. 48.1% for Remain, 51.9% for Leave. Leave won. Barely. It’s close enough to 50/50. This probably caused some outrage (and it did) but this is the way I see it:

The only other time I’ve read into where the nation has been divided this much is because of Margaret Thatcher. Over time, we had votes to get rid of Thatcher. Unlike Thatcher, leaving the EU is a permanent thing. We cannot re-enter, the decision is permanent no matter what happens. If our economy becomes prosperous and we “Make Britain Great Again” then we cannot re-enter the EU. If we all live in a dystopian-Mad Max-esq world where we drive Mini’s that have been fitted with steel plating and spiky wheels thanks to the economy failing, we cannot re-enter the EU. If the EU blows up and dissolves itself, we cannot re-enter the EU.

Live Coverage of the Breakdown of Society

For the first time in a long time I ended up cancelling one or two plans I had made on the day to watch the Good Morning Britain coverage of the vote, followed by the ITV coverage. Which is what I’m going to comment on now. Thanks to me live tweeting everything that happened, I can sort of construct a timeline, so let’s give that a go. Everything is very fuzzy though due to my lack of short term memory, and Twitter didn’t save the correct times for some of the tweets.

6:30 A.M. – Nigel Farage unveils that “pledging to spend the EU money on the NHS was a mistake”. I’m sure a lot of people voted Leave because it meant more money into the NHS, it was, after all, one of their primary slogans for the campaign (as seen in the image below):

And the video showing Nigel say the claims were a mistake:

Farage and the Leave party claimed that they would guarantee that they would put all the EU money into the NHS. This is not something you can brush under the carpet, it’s not something small and minor and didn’t matter, this is a major change and is a deal breaker for a lot of people. Now that this has come out as a “mistake”, it’s led me to a number of conclusions.

The most prominent conclusion was that the Leave party was built upon lies. If they’ve lied about the NHS spending, who knows what else they’ve lied about, we’ll find out soon enough.

8 A.M. ish – Lord Mandelson appears on TV, speaks to Piers Morgan about the Labour Party, many call for Jeremy Corbyn to step down as leader of the Labour party. A lot of people voted “No Confidence” in Corbyn. Now, unlike a lot of people, I’ve done research. I research everything before I write about it, I did extensive research into this topic, and I also researched Jeremy Corbyn. I’ve seen the interviews and so on. The man can be trusted. He isn’t like David Cambot, the ex-Optimus Prime Minister, he’s not another robot, he seems like a genuine bloke that you’d see in a pub on a Friday night. He’s a normal bloke, but fearfully, so is Boris Johnson.

8:18 A.M. – David Cameron resigns. Now I’m presuming many people assumed it was out of cowardice, at first I agreed that it was. But then I put some thought into it. Cameron was for the Remain party and I’m pretty sure he’s done it out of spite as one reason. Cameron doesn’t get his own way and resigns to see how the Leave government would fair. I don’t agree with Cameron and I certainly don’t like him, I don’t like what he did to that pig either but that’s a different story. The point is, Cameron resigning is extremely bad as it leaves the country without a powerful figure at the helm and he’s most likely got an alternate motive for resigning, most likely to prove a point, although we aren’t sure what the hell that point is. Personally, I feel as if he’s resigned because he doesn’t want to clean up everyone else’s shit when he said it was a bad idea from the start.

Britain can survive outside of the EU

– David Cameron

And then he resigned, so as not to take the blame for when Britain doesn’t survive outside of the EU.

9ish A.M. – The value of GBP (Sterling, Pound, whatever it’s called) literally plummets into a state that hasn’t been this bad since 1982, worse than the most recent recession. Slowly begins to climb in value, and then drops again. Here’s the proof:

Sometime after that, but before 9:30 A.M. – I state on Twitter that I have no jokes about the EU and wont write an article on it. And here we are, me making jokes about the EU and writing an article on it.

10 A.M.ish – Nicola Sturgeon states that a second Scottish Referendum is “on the table” and is most probably in the best interests of Scotland. The only problem I found with Nicola’s speech was the camera angle. Everything Sturgeon said, I agreed with, especially the need for another Scottish referendum, they deserve it and I can definitely see a unanimous independence decision being possible. They said the only reason they would have a second referendum is if a major change was made, leaving the EU is that major change they needed, and considering Scotland quite literally voted unanimously to remain, they’ll be leaving the United Kingdom any time now.

There was a big emphasis on “Making Britain Great Again” whatever the hell that means, I dunno if it meant re-opening and then closing the coal mines again or invading India for more tea, but whatever happens, it wont. We aren’t making it great again, I’m presuming what it means is that we should stick together as an island, but that wont happen, Scotland wanted to remain in the EU, and I can definitely see Northern Ireland wanting a referendum too. Not Wales though, they don’t have the balls to pull that shit on us, we’ll invade them if that happens. We’ll nuke their sheep farms.

10:30A.M.ish – Donald Trump speaks on the ITV coverage, begins going on about his golf course so they turn the cameras off. Genuinely, that was the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.

10:40A.M.ish – Person who voted “Leave” states they now want to vote “Remain”. Too late. Plain and simple, and it’s one of the reasons people (myself included) want a second vote. It seems now that the reality has set in, many people want to change their answers, whether it be Leave to Remain or Remain to Leave. It seemed that many people have been ill-informed, on both sides, but more prominently on the Leave side. Mainly with the NHS lies and so on, which I’ve spoken about, moving on.

11A.M.ish – ITV News Reporter speaks to a woman who is glad the borders will close. Reporter realises they can go through Ireland and remain in the United Kingdom borders. Now, I can see why closed borders are appealing to those voting Leave, keeps “them bloody immigrants, coming over here, stealing Polish jobs” out. And I know not many people think this, I’m doing this for comedic effect, see, comedy, comedy haha, times are bleak I have to keep morale up.

The borders closing is simple, and I’ll explain it. As we’re apart of the EU, we have open borders with everyone else in the EU. So if I wanted to go to, say, Greece, I can travel there without having to jump through hoops such as VISA and so on, however now that we’ve left, you’ll need a VISA to travel there. I’m still undecided on whether or not I want to stay in the United Kingdom to pursue my career, so I felt safe knowing I had the option to go abroad, but now I don’t have that option and I’ve been pushed onto the one path I was least in favour of.

Now, I followed all of this on Twitter and ITV, but, as I need to bring some humour and light heartedness into the article, here’s the best of what I liked on Twitter by the people I follow and the retweets I saw:


Here’s an image of Boris Johnson, you don’t need the context and I haven’t got anything to say about it, just know that he’s doing a semi-Hitler salute, a sign of things to come.

Speaking of Boris, he’s the most likely person to become the next Prime Minister. If that isn’t a scary thought, I don’t know what is.

Present and Future impact of Leaving the EU

If this decision has led to the Leave party going back on their promises and blatantly lying to people, our Prime Minister resigning, the sterling dropping in value by 4.8%, Scotland wanting a referendum and dividing a nation, we should re-vote.

Quoted From: Ewan Gleadow, me, wait, I’m quoting myself, how big can my ego get?

Well that’s the present impact. What about the future?

The rights we will lose are:

  1. The freedom to move between countries in the EU.
  2. The freedom to live in countries apart of the EU.
  3. If you are in another country that is apart of the EU and does not have a UK embassy, you can go to any other EU members embassy for help.
  4. The right to appeal to the European Ombudsman if you think the EU is acting unfairly.

Quoted from: This very article

I think, overall, if you want a “Too Long; Didn’t Read” about this whole article and the leaving of the EU as a whole, this image sums it up rather well. Good luck everyone, I’m moving to Sicily.

All joking aside. I need to give my opinion. I’ll do this very quickly and shortly because this is the end of the article and not many people care.

After researching it all and looking at what’s happened in the past day, I’m quite genuinely fearful, confused, baffled, angered and saddened by the motion to leave the EU, (an organisation that we put very little money into when comparing it to the amount we send to fighting unnecessary wars) and by leaving those that have voted have formed the future of a generation that wasn’t allowed to have their opinion voiced in said votes. By 2019, it’ll be extremely difficult for us to find opportunities outside of England, where there is already too much competition and very little opportunity.

That being said, when the nuclear winter comes, don’t say I didn’t warn you. And we all know things are bad when Jeremy Clarkson becomes the voice of reason.


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