The Actual Q&A (For Realsies this time)

A while ago I did a sort of mock Q&A thing where I just took the piss, but after much debate I’ve actually done one because a few people were asking very vague questions and it also means I don’t have to stress out about a Saturday post like I usually do.

How do you focus when writing?

I listen to music more often than anything. Occasionally I’ll put a TV Show on in the background but four seasons later and you haven’t done any writing, so I put music on. The two songs that seem to allow me to focus the best are The Coral – Dreaming of You and the Monsters Inc. Theme, no I’m not joking. Randy Newman composed a really good bit of jazz music in the form of the Monsters Inc. Theme, surprisingly catchy and helps me focus. As for Dreaming of You, that’s my all time favourite song and it was on Scrubs so that’s just a bonus. Podcasts work too, but the only Podcast I really listen to is the Rooster Teeth Podcast and sometimes clips from the Completely Unnecessary Podcast.

Another thing I’ve found that works is ASMR, specifically Ephemeral Rift (who I did a satirical article on and never had the courage to send him) but his videos are superb and very relaxing, so much so that I can focus on my writing for more than two minutes. I’m very easily distracted when it comes down to things, so one minute I’ll be writing and the next minute I’ll be browsing Twitter, so listening to something keeps me focused for a set amount of time.

Actually saying that I did just get sidetracked for five hours because I watched Spaceballs, Cuckoo and a livestream.

What’s with the Achievement Unlocked series?

Well, I like Achievement Hunting on the Xbox 360. At time of writing, I’m a bit under 100,000G, which I’ll hit before the end of the year. I’ve gotten a number of inspirations from around the internet or the series, mainly Stallion83 (Or the “Man with a Million Gamerscore”), TrueAchievements and my enjoyment for collecting achievements.

The writing series is primarily done to offer a guide on how to unlock the missable achievements in games. That’s why it’s fucking gold dust to write Telltale games for the guide because they’re easy to knock a few out in a day.

I help people get achievements and I have a good time writing it. Sometimes it does take a while to write, the longest one so far to write is the Level 22 one, but that one got finished, the CSI one is still being written.

Who are your inspirations for writing?

There’s quite a number of people who have given me some inspiration. Primarily Yahtzee Croshaw, who’s cynicism has allowed me to continue my reviews and satirical writing, it’s been very handy to have a weekly review to watch and get some laughs out of it as well, which has given me some inspiration for the “jokes” I write, which is basically just a mixture of cynicism and satirical jabs at topics that in about two years time will be severely outdated.

Charlie Brooker is also a big inspiration, again due to his cynicism, but from the angle of the TV and media, but also games too. Much like Yahtzee his humour is what I base mine on.

I think the only other inspiration for, well, not my writing but in general would be the late, great, Rik Mayall. His full of himself attitude is fantastic and I think by law everyone should have to be like that. But I don’t have any power to enforce that rule, as I am not yet Queen.

What’s your favourite TV Show?

By far my favourite TV Show is Peep Show, Scrubs or Black Books. Those three are the pinnacle of comedy. Peep Show’s first person view is different and works to it’s advantage and is by far the greatest show I’ve seen in a hell of a long time, I had the pleasure of having a brief conversation with David Mitchell around Christmas time which is a bonus. As for Scrubs, again I’ve spoken to the creator, Bill Lawrence, on Twitter several times and I must say Scrubs is the best American comedy I’ve seen since The Office and Scrubs did one of the best things a comedy can do. Make you laugh of your own accord (no laugh track) and made me cry. Peep Show also doesn’t feature a laugh track. As for Black Books, Dylan Moran is just funny and I have the same tolerance for people as Bernard Black does.

Some very honourable mentions that I loved just as equally however include Bottom, Fawlty Towers, Father Ted, Bennidorm, Outnumbered, Cuckoo, Mock the Week and That Mitchell and Webb Look.

Do you want a career in journalism/critique?

Well, doing what I’m doing right now as a job would be spectacular. If I could be paid enough to make my blog a full time job then hell yes I would take it. But no, my plan is to train as a history teacher. That wont mark the death of the blog though, hell no, this will go on forever, much like The Big Bang Theory, it’ll never end.

I was considering pursuing some form of apprenticeship in journalism but I’m happy just writing freelance and for Updownright. I don’t think I’d like to work for a big company like IGN or Machinima though, I much prefer having my own rules, so getting paid to do this would be living the dream.

Not only this, but I do a hell of a lot of other writing in my spare time. I’ve wrote a bunch of short stories that are going to be published in a collection on Amazon sometime soon, I’ve written up three TV Show ideas, one of which I have pitched to several broadcasting agents, I’ve also got a book I’m writing with a friend of mine and on top of that I have this blog and a couple of other projects.

What should I do if I meet you in public?

If you ever see me in public, fuck off.

On the off chance that one of you does see me in public and for some reason would like to converse a conversation with me, feel free to do so. I’ll probably sign something for you because that’s the type of thing I should be doing in my own little bubble, now I better go because John Cleese will be serving me some pasta soon in one of my seventeen dining rooms.

It’d probably be just safer to say “I read “THING YOU READ HERE” and thought it was “GREAT/BRILLIANT/FANTASTIC/SHIT/A WORK OF ART and thought I would express my opinion in the middle of a street as you were walking.” That’d work.

What’s the font you use on the images?

I edit the images in the Imgur image editor, everything I do, cropping, editing, etc etc. The font I use for Ewan’s Mind and some of the older posts of Ewan Rants is “Luckiest Guy”, which I found funny as it’s a piss take of me. I am not the luckiest guy, far from it, so it’s a nice fit that that’s the font I use.

What’s your favourite film?

I’ve got three, all comedies. The definite favourite being Hot Fuzz, an absolutely phenomenal second installation to the “Cornetto Trilogy”. The second being Guest House Paradiso, which is effectively the “Bottom Movie”, starring Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson. Thirdly is a film I watched quite recently called Wish I Was Here. It’s one of the most fulfilling movies I’ve ever seen, with fantastic cameos from Donald Faison and more, I’d recommend watching it.

But that’s enough I think, definitely considering we’ve went past the 1300 word mark.

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