So continuing the trending theme of “playing shit I bought two years ago”, I pulled Call of Juarez: The Cartel off of my shelf and stuck it in my Xbox, it wasn’t the first time I had played the game however, I had in fact played it once, gotten one single achievement on it and never played it again, not even moving past the first level.
So, what’s it like then?
Well, the plot is non-existent, what I gathered is that you and your two other “compadres” are drug busters, trying to stop the drug run from Mexico to the sweet freedom land of ‘Muricah. You can pick one of three characters, Mexican man, woman and Mr. Juarez, who is only there and related to the characters of the previous games so they can have a sort of well-known title on this game.
The Three Amigos do have a bit of variety, apparently. Mr. Juarez uses close up weapons such as pistols and shotguns, Speedy Gonzalez uses mid range weapons such as Uzi’s and so on and Anita Sarkeesian uses sniper rifles. Or that’s what they want you to think. You can choose any weapon you want in your loadout settings, it basically makes the choices redundant. Now I suppose you could argue that because Mr. Juarez is better with pistols he reloads them faster, right? That is correct, I mean, he does that, but that’s the only difference really. It doesn’t really make sense that they wouldn’t have an auto loader for a revolver too.
Story wise you’ll fisticuff and bullet your way through swarms of goons, ranging from a man in a green shirt to a man in a blue shirt and all the way back again. I think there’s three different types. There’s those damned Mexicans, a private, business owned version of ISIS and bouncers, the most threatening of enemies.
But the real enemy is your team mates AI, which isn’t the best at times. I’m still not quite sure as to whether or not they can kill enemies or not, but they can get from Point A to Point B. At some points in the game they’ll lay down covering fire for you. This doesn’t really work too well and your best bet is to just run as fast as possible, stopping at each bit of cover to put another tally next to the achievement total.
Oh yeah, that’s the best part about this game, easy achievements. I only played it an hour, flew through half the game and ended up with about 300G. So do you know what I did? I broke the only rule of “An Hour With” and continued playing. Mainly because I wanted the rest of the achievements that were available, but more importantly because the game was getting genuinely fun.
Yeah, surprisingly, even amidst all of its flaws, the game was still fairly fun and I actually enjoyed it for some weird reason. The game isn’t so bad as to make you stop playing, but it’s not good enough to be the next big thing. It’s another one of those average shooters that for some reason have a weird charm to me, so if you can find it somewhere and it’s cheap, then buy it. Don’t pay a fiver for it like me though.