Ewan forgets to write a Saturday article and just writes bollocks

Bollocks.

There, that should cover it. I thought I’d go for a more free flowing article, rather than what I’ve usually done which is cheaply take the piss out of politics. Nah, not this week, I literally have written down on my Google Docs schedule “Ewan talks bollocks for a couple hundred words”, so that’s what I’ll do.

I have no clue what to talk about. I’d talk about my day so far but all I’ve done today is went for a walk, finished watching Father Ted and now I’m sat playing Pimp My Ride waiting for Joseph to show up. I watched the last episode of Father Ted, the bit where he dances to the “Shaft” theme and I remember reading something about Dermot Morgan having to repeat the dance so many times that he began to experience heart pains. Apparently that contributed towards his heart attack. Learn something new every day I suppose.

Shame he’s dead though, he was a superb actor, Frank Kelly too. A lot of comedy actors die way too young, Dermot Morgan, Rik Mayall, Robin Williams, Dane Cook’s credibility, the list is endless.

But other than that I had a pretty good day. This would’ve been out earlier but me and Joseph played Mario Party 7 until one in the morning. I came second. Utter shit it was, I had the most stars and then Bowser fucked me over. It all boiled down to me winning the mini games and then sticking my middle finger up at Joseph, who then went on to buy two more stars than me.

And now I’m writing this, I’m gonna wrap this up and then play the Killer Instinct Classic, which I got when I downloaded Killer Instinct on Games with Gold. Apparently it’s an easy 1000G, but I’m terrible at fighting games, I’ve never been good at them. I don’t know why I’m so terrible at them though. I’ve tried learning all the button combos, but it’s no use. Killer Instinct, Mortal Kombat, WWF Warzone, WWE All Stars and anything fast paced just goes straight over my head. I can’t do it. I am good at Guitar Hero though.

Hell, I’m not even that good at that, I mean, the final song on Band Hero is impossibly difficult for Hard, so much so that I can’t do it. I’ve tried multiple times, but to no avail, I might have to do that one on normal. There’s always one song I just can’t do and have to do it on a lower difficulty. I would say practice makes perfect but that’s a load of bollocks, because it doesn’t. That’s a fact. Unless you’re playing the guitar…

Well, that’s about it for me. I hope you enjoyed my unplanned ramblings. This one isn’t being put into the book, I haven’t even hit 500 words. Christ, sorry about that, don’t worry though, the next two weeks will be pretty good, considering I am off and that means I can do a lot more writing, so not to worry. Some very good articles coming out in the coming weeks. Nevermind, I don’t have to give a shit anymore, I passed 500 words, toodles.

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