Ewan Rants: Five Nights at Freddy’s

I  want to talk to you all about a very popular game series that I have never played and don’t plan on playing or reviewing. Ever, just doing one article on it, which is this. I cannot stress this enough, these are my OPINIONS. If I offend anyone then, well, I’m not too fussed, you’re probably one of those die-hard fans, if you can’t establish opinion from fact then please, there’s the door, uhm, somewhere. This is gonna be me ranting on about a whole load of kerfuffle and garbage for a while, so don’t mind me.

Five Nights at Freddy’s is extremely popular. I’ve seen people review this game on Steam, well, maybe review is a rather grandiose term for seven year olds typing in all caps “LEL BEST GAME OF 2006 FREDDY IS SCARY GHOST WHOOPS SPOILERS HOOHOHOHOHO”.

A lot of them are saying that it’s the greatest horror game they’ve played, it’s a giant jumpscare that made them shit themselves.

Unfortunately, that is what the game is, one big jumpscare, that is all. A “strategy” game revolving around a huge jumpscare is what makes up this game. I can commandeer the first instalment of the series, it was a step in the right direction and a new breath of life on the horror genre, with your character helpless, with only some Fallout Shelter-esq doors to save him. The second one, while yes, did add new things, was basically the same concept, with the safety of your doors taken away, replacing the game’s already functioning horror element with a new, more gimmick-y one. Stick on the mask and hide from the monsters, wind up the jukebox to keep the birthday surprise away.

While yes, I do think that both the first two games were fun in their own respects, the third one delivered nothing new to the table. Before I talk about that, I want to mention the release date schedule, while the games are good, I have a feeling that halfway through the first game, the developer realised this was a good cash cow, ripe for the milking, and began developing an intricate plot to what would’ve been a very simple game. I’m not saying adding a rich story to your game is bad, but he left so many plot and loop holes that it left the player hungry for more. Which, in essence, is a good thing, but this was a blatant cash grab, and with the announcement of an RPG (which will be free seeing as though he released it so early everyone threw up a bit) and a MOVIE, it’s definitely been taken too far.

No, I haven’t played any of the games, I wont play them either, I don’t like horror games, not my genre of choice to pursue. However, I do see the appeal of a jump scare, shit your pants game. As for the sequel, it was a push, then the announcement of a sequel to the sequel a mere few months later and you’re starting to make Call of Duty games look like a rare occasion that comes around once every ten years, and when it does we should break out the emergency party poppers, buy a cake and set it on fire, offering it to our overlords so that they release more mediocre shooters. But I digress, is it a functioning and well made game? Yes. It’s fairly easy to copy a majority of code and stick it onto another game, slap a “3” at the end and say its new content, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that the second, third, fourth, RPG and movie isn’t necessary.

What would’ve been a fairly respectable franchise has turned into EA’s money-making dreams, a finite source, but there are more than enough fans of the franchise to hype up the next instalments that they make more money each time one comes out, which is a shame overall, because there’s a lot of other games out there. When seeing some people’s strange”devotion” to the series, it’s oddly disturbing to sometimes find yourself on a forum or Reddit or other media websites to voice your opinion on the game, only to be ripped to pieces by die-hard fans.

I don’t have anything against the fan base, obviously there’s a small portion of them that are lovely people, but those many that give the fanbase a bad rep are just repulsive enough to give the community itself a bad rep. Believe me when I say this, Scott Cawthon, the creator of the series is a damned genius for leaping on this genre and unique idea when he did. However from the perspective of a non-fan, it’s fairly obvious that the cash cow has been milked, and there’s still a lot to go around. Of course, for the fans of the game, this is an enjoyable and fun experience for many of the consumers, but I think Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw put it best in his review of the game.

“But in horror games, jump-scares are more something I grudgingly tolerate more than something I want. They’re to horror what a fart joke is to comedy.”

Very true, a horror game should be more than a giant jump-scare, which Five Night’s at Freddy’s isn’t. You know what FNAF is an anagram for? NAFF. Like the sequels to the game series and what the movie will be. The second point there, a fart joke to comedy, very true, they’ve been so overdone that its difficult to make them scary, but Cawthon has made it work, almost too well to be quite honest and what has amassed from that is a hype train so big it’s ruined other non-fan’s or newcomers enjoyment, it’s like Frozen, it may have been good, but it’s that over-hyped and loved that it just wont die and a sequel is being made, such is the same of FNAF.

They’re also doing a spin off game called “FNAF World” but Cawthon released it in an unfinished state and got what he deserved. Negative reception.

However, the app they’re bringing out looks scary as hell, all aboard the hype train!


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